Coffee Dregs
by the cat and the canary
Summary: 100 themes challenge for Lavi/Allen. 13. Lullaby and Goodnight: His heart is too heavy to keep beating and his mind to muddled to find the will to live.


**Coffee Dregs**

_13. Lullaby and Goodnight_

**Warning(s): **Character death, kiss between to males and what could be considered borderline necrophelia. Also, bad insomniac writing and probably confusion.

**Disclaimer: **(I should probably start doing these . . .) I (obviously) do not own -Man. All legal rights lie with Hoshino Katsura.

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His heart felt so heavy, like it was made of solid gold, and his mind so muddled, as if melted marshmallows filled the inside of his brain. How he wished this wasn't so, for the weight of the heart was suffocating him, the organ too heavy now to continue beating. Just as the organ beat a last time, painfully slow, a thought was trying desperately to wade its way through the sticky mass in his head, calling urgently for his attention only to have its words swallowed by the stickyness as it stumbled head first back into the mess.

He wondered what it had to say and if it was important, like he had the nagging feeling it was. However, he never found out, for a shadow came along, unhampered by the marshmallow as it moved quickly through the mess toward the thought. With out hesitation, it pounced upon its prey, swallowing it whole in a maw darker than the deepest night. But before it could be completely devoured, the thought let out a cry. The sound echoed around his head, creating a melody.

It sounded like a lullaby, sad and sweet. As was its purpose, it lulled him, making the mess of his brain stickier and his long stopped heart heavier. Distantly, he heard a voice. Unable to truly understand what it said, he let it wash over him with the music.

_Goodnight, Lavi, the forty-ninth. Your role has been ill fulfilled so sleep well for you shall never wake again._

And so, he slept.

Allen clutched at the unnaturally still body of the usually so vibrant redhead, pulling the young Bookman's head into his lap with shaking hands. "Lavi," he called softly, voice cracking with the threat of tears. "Lavi, please, you can't be . . . ." But Allen knew very well that he _could _be. The way his chest wouldn't rise, the way his hair seemed oddly stiff and flattened as one pale hand sifted through it, and the way his skin had cooled below its normal temperature as the pale hand's red counterpart felt across it was a testament to that.

Finally the promised tears fell, leaving glistening streaks over battlefield dusty cheeks.

How many times had his hands moved through his love's soft, long red hair? He had always absently wrapped the strands around his fingers as the warm breath from the larger body ghosted across his chest where a head was nestled against his heart. How many times had his hands eagerly touched the scarred skin hidden under the Exorcists badge, while just as eager hands moved across his own body? They had mapped each other, committing to memory every scar they came across along with every story they found in the pale marks criss-crossing the other body.

Unsuccessfully fighting back a new wave of tears, he realized that that didn't matter, for now would be the last time he would ever touch him again.

Shaking with soft sobs, he leaned over Lavi's death heavy head, life's lightness having fully drained away, and pressed his shaking lips to cold, pale ones.

"Goodbye, Lavi," he murmured, pulling back just enough to whisper the words. "I love you."

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Hoo boy, not really the way I wanted to start this off, what with the vague-ness and AU-ish-ness and sadness... But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this as it is the start of my own quest to do a 100 themes challenge for these two. Mostly I'm writing this to get a feel for the pairing before I act on any of the million ideas floating around in my head.

I found this particular challenge on Deviant Art. It was created by Soft-Twilight. I'm not doing these in any particular order; I'm letting a number generator choose which one I write next.

So, again, I hope you enjoyed this one and please feel free to drop me a review with your opinion.


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